I really wish I could matter again to someone. It just seems that all I do here is servant work and because I do it they let me sleep here. Almost every single day I clean, wash dishes, do laundry, pick up poop, take out trash, and vacuum the carpets in a house filled with 4 cats. And not only do I have an extreme allergy to cats, but I'm also asthmatic. The fur and crap from cats get into my passageway and I start to wheeze. My lungs sometimes feel like they have a snake wrapped tightly around them. And that's not the worst part, I really just want a 'thank you' every now and then.
Every day when I go to college I have to make certain nothing is too dirty. Then I come home and clean and take out the trash. I've been doing this the last 6 months on top of looking for work and I can't find anything. I told my girlfriend how I feel and she just got so angry with me and told me that they let me stay here for free so I shouldn't complain about the cats. And that they don't expect me to clean. WHAT? why would everything be in such a horrible mess every single day if they didn't expect someone to clean?
On top of that I never, ever get an acknowledgement. I work very hard almost every day for them and not even a thank you or even a 'hi'. My girlfriend says its because I don't go out there often enough. Its because I'm so wheezy from cleaning around the cats all day that I don't feel good! But Lord forbid I say anything negative about her family to her since she is so freaking defensive. I could literally be dying everyday and she doesn't say shit.
I tried taking claritin and it makes me feel very nervous and sick. I'm going to try and buy some Zyrtec when I get more money. I'm not only very upset, but I'm so sad that this is happening to me. I feel more depressed than I ever have. This led to many fights with my girlfriend so in the end I just told her forget it. I'm not bringing anymore of my problems to her, I'll deal with them myself like I'm suppose to.
Its embarrassing to tell my friends, plus they never have to clean an entire house themselves so they wouldn't understand. I'm just alone, and unappreciated. At least my girlfriend is gone a lot so I can cry plenty.
